Our Sweetie is a fish.
Swimming across the pool is simple. Multiple jumps off the high dive are easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy (his words, not mine).
So you can imagine our outrage when the local lifeguard informed Greg that Our Sweetie could not jump off any diving boards or swim across the pool without me next to him because he is FIVE.
Five. Not six.
I understand the anti-litigation, bureaucratic procedures, but I don't like them. A competency clause should exist.
At least we think it should.
And so being the amazing, forthright parents that we are, Greg and I took Our Sweetie aside before the next swimming excursion and told him to tell the lifeguards he's six.
I knew I was in trouble before the words finished coming out of my mouth.
Our Sweetie looked at us in astonishment. We were telling him to lie? Isn't that wrong? Haven't we always taught our children to tell the truth and be good examples for siblings and others?
Greg and I had dug ourselves into one seriously deep hole.
In the end Our Sweetie couldn't do it. He was fine waiting to jump off the diving board until next summer when he's six. He felt more comfortable being honest and obeying the rules.
This is bound to come out in some future testimony or primary-talk-comment-moment down the line. About how his parents are terrible, dishonest people who needed a five-yr old to set them straight.
The sides of this hole are looking pretty steep.