Saturday, March 21, 2009

Estrogen Poisoning

Yes, you read correctly, and we (I) need your prayers. Tonight there is a great chance that the boys and I will be subjected to toxic air, with the estrogen levels FAR beyond what the EPA recommends. The cause? Twilight came out on DVD today and Rachael is having over a few (about a trillion) close friends that will be pumped up on girliness. Manicures, veggie trays, and Edward swooning galore.

I need suggestions on how to combat this. The only thing I could come up with is, when the kids are asleep, clean my guns upstairs and watch old episodes of 24. But I’m just not sure if increasing testosterone in the atmosphere will negate the estrogen. I’m afraid that if testosterone and estrogen were put in a 1 on 1 fight, estrogen would win. I don’t think I’ve ever won an argument with a woman, so I don’t have much faith in my testosterone.

Anyway, wish me luck. If you notice that Rachael has successfully enrolled James and Andrew in a tumbling class, you’ll know I was infected with the estrogen and gave her permission to do that. Please, for the sake of the little ones, think manly thoughts tonight and direct them towards our house. I’ll need all the help I can get.

11 comments:

Rob Anderson said...

Sounds like a code 1428, estrogen overdose. I'm calling in the backup. What this usually calls for is camo face paint and a case of Mountain Dew. I would lend you my DVD of the 2006 season of BYU Football if I were close enough. I'll make sure I watch some March Madness and send the man vibes your way.

Dudes have to be strong together.

Alison said...

Ha! This made me laugh so hard. We're no help, though. My husband is upstairs coloring. :)

Erin said...

lol

leadatortilla said...

So, is there tumbling scheduled for this week?!? hee hee

MCMULLIN FAMILY said...

Hilarious! Good luck to you!

Chad and Sara said...

Oh Greg you are a good husband and brave. Tumbling classes for the boys are awesome, its when she wants to enroll them in iceskating and then you will have to put you foot down. Ha Ha!

Jessica Brown said...

Ha ha! I'm laughing so hard right now. Your hilarious Greg!

Boy said...

Testosterone always wins.
All of human history points to that fact.
You just need to get some.

Carleton & Robyn said...

Funny. I love this movie too. Carleton watched it with me.

Britt said...

Greg, I'd be happy to let you borrow the DVD I bought of the UTES undefeated football season- that part in there where the Utes crush and demoralize Max Hall sucks all of the estrogen right out of the room!
(This is Spencer not Britt)

Natalie said...

So funny, Greg! Drew makes fun of me all the time over this series.