Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Thanksgiving and Our Sweetie

I love turkey. I especially love left-over turkey on those delicious sandwiches with slices of fresh avocado, miracle whip, toasted bread and a side of left-over pumpkin pie. Life is good.

It was even better this year to be back in Utah, watching my dad cut the traditional turkey and to visit with siblings over glasses of chilled Martinellis.

But my favorite part about Thanksgiving is My Sweetie's birthday. Every year it reminds me what I am most thankful for...my incredible miracle.

I've heard most parents refer to their children as miracles. But in my case - it really was.

The doctors had told me it was impossible. My body had decided to advance to a pre-menopausal state in my late 20s and my eggs were calling it quits. Many years, 2 rounds of in-vitro, surgeries, pills, terrible words like PCOS, stage 4 endometriosis, and drawers full of adoption paperwork - Greg and I had decided it was time to stop - this was no longer the path we were meant to go down.

I remember completely resigning myself to the life ahead of me. We had experienced our first miracle - adopting our Big Guy - we were more than grateful. Life would move forward and we would be happy.

But apparently there was more in store than I realized - greater work and sacrifices on behalf of our family - that brought about the miracle.

Eight months after bringing home our Big Guy, Greg and I sat in the Timpanogos temple, surrounded by family when I first felt the stirrings of something that felt - not quite right. But I was beyond skeptical. I never even said the words aloud - because I knew there was no chance.

Four weeks later I went to the store - absolutely furious and gnashing my teeth - to buy a pregnancy test. I hated doing this. I had done this so many times before. But something was wrong. Definitely wrong. I would have to make ANOTHER trip to the doctor's office soon and he would run a test regardless to rule out everything, and I didn't want to go through ANOTHER negative ALONE in the doctor's office.

So there I was - I had bought the cheapest, most generic test available - and I sat outside my bathroom door waiting. Still furious. Why did I have to go through this again? Hadn't I been through enough?? I knew exactly what the test would say - I knew there would be a GIGANTIC empty space in the circle area. I thought of the millions of women around the world in the exact same situation as me and I immediately started planning how I'd organize a massive party with fantastic food as soon as I was done reading this test. We could all wail together.

The time was up. I threw the door open, stomped to the bathroom sink, and my jaw dropped.
Three days later I saw him for the first time. I was 11 weeks pregnant.

And now he's three. And yes he cries and complaines about making his bed, putting on his shoes, sharing his toys, cleaning up his messes - and I do get upset with him often - but I am still joyous for My Sweetie.


Bill P said...

What an amazing miracle! And a wonderful birthday, it's great having so many family members around.

Kristen said...

What a precious little miracle you have! Happy birthday!

Erin said...

Very touching post! The funny thing is I can remember quite a few of those memories. I love the memory of James walking into the sealing room. It makes me cry just to think about it. It was such a spiritual and sweet moment. I remember the day you told me you were pregnant. We were so thrilled for you. And to share a pregnancy with you and boys so close in age was SO fun! I'm glad God knows better than we do. And I'm glad you have had three wonderful miracles in your life.

Steph said...

Isn't Thanksgiving great! I am realizing that miracles happen everyday, some small and some large. We just need to take the time to notice them. Thanks for sharing your miracle.

KMDuff said...

Happy Birthday to your precious miracle. :) What a lovely story.

Jen T said...

Hey Rachael!

Your old BYU roomie Jen Taylor here! I just got your Christmas card and had no idea you were in Utah. I sent your card to CT, so hopefully you get it! Love your blog! Your kids are beautiful! Are you settled in Utah in your own place? Keep in touch and tell Greg hi!

Love, Jen

Natalie said...

Rae - I was so glad you shared your miracle story about your sweetie! You are such a great mom.

kj said...

I loved this post! Mothers who have miracle babies make the best mothers - I know because my mother was one. What precious miracles you have - all three!

McKay Missy and Boys said...

I didn't know your entire story. I am so very happy for you and your family.

leadatortilla said...

Amazing story Rach - loved reading it - and remembering those days... we're grateful for ENTIRE family too.

Galo Fab 5 said...

I'm sitting here crying. What a sweet post. I really needed to read your blog today. Thanks. Merry Christmas.